IRL Race Notes from Twin Ring, 4/30/05

Notes made during the ESPN broadcast of the IRL race at Twin Ring, Motegi, Japan on 4/30/05

Broadcast starts:

Todd Harris (ABC/ESPN announcer) has a thing for Danica. Can't say "Danica" enough.

Danica mobbed by media after near pole. Still, she disses Sarah Fisher with this:

"I really don't think too much about what other females have done,” Patrick said. “I base my talent off of everybody else in this field. The competition is different now (than in 2002 and ‘03 when Fisher was on the front row). It's the toughest it's ever been.”

Well la-te-da. I guess Sarah's pole was against the second string. But, I refuse to be bitter.

Video of T. Enge rolling it in qualifications. Interview with T. Enge. Says something about falling down and breaking ribs before the crash. He's out.

Toyota on the pole at the Honda track. Irony is savored.

Danica interview. Sounds nervous. I got nothing against Danica, I swear. She's got hose X Men sunglasses going all the time. It's not the same without fellow babe Jamie Little towering over Danica asking her if she's gotten where she's gotten based on looks. Again, that's the pot interviewing the kettle.

Video of fish on a stick. Montage of the crazy concessions they got at Twin Ring. Probably beats an $8 hot dog.

Weldon with the Elvis shades signing autographs.

Video of AJ throwing tools! AJ is always good for a tool throwing shot. Tool don't work? Throw it.

A video segment featuring Dr. Jerry Punchy looking for hashbrowns and sausage. THEY HAVE DIFFERENT FOOD IN JAPAN. My enjoyment of the race is greatly enhanced.

Interview of Andretti reliving St. Petersburg. Reveals he's thinking of changing his name to Andretti-George.

Chippy -- interview. After last race's Kanaan-punting-Briscoe event. Calls it a racing incident. Question: "How close are you to stopping getting your butt kicked every race?" (I'm paraphrasing.) Answer: "We're working hard. Don't have it figured out. We'll be back soon."

Modern Day Samurai Warriors! Reference number one. There will be two more.

Tony Kanaan qualifies 10th. I think he does it on purpose to get the "charge through the field" air time.

Panther: 0 wins. 19 DNFs in 36 races. Not so good.

We are green-green-green. ABC needs someone to say something like Boggity-boggity-boggity. Work on it, Scott Goodyear.

Danica makes a sweet move on Sam to take the lead. Shout out to her.

Yellow. DRR's Bucknum bends it. Bend it like Bucknum. Takes out Dixon. Ganassi is snakebit.

Robbie Buhl gets air time for the wrong reason. Probing question: "Your car just hit the wall. How do you feel?"

Turn 4 -- Dead Bull racing. A Red Bull car is out. I think it's Barron. The bulls all look the same.

Long yellow clean up. Seems like it takes about 72 minutes.

Green.

Danica goes to second. WE HAVE COMPLETED AN ENTIRE LAP! Standing ovation.

Roger Yasukawa charging forward! Gets some in-car video action.

Sharp third. Roger 13th. More in-car with Roger.

Scheckter dropping. TS got the word not to roll it. Bring it home in one piece. Don't try to lead lap 18. Be patient. Appears to be listening for now, but the race is young and Scheckter is restless. BAH, the Young and the Restless.

Danica pits. Todd Harris EMOTES about what a great pit stop it was. She sat in her car just like a PRO. AMAZING.

Phantom Yellow for "debris."

Vitor blows up. Got the back cowling off. Not good. Vitor can't buy a break. He's the stepchild Rahal car.

Announcers are very impressed with Danica. Repeatedly express their impressment. She is THE SHIT.

Buddy gets black flagged for blocking. Brian Barnhart is CRACKING DOWN. Gives him a stop and go.

Roger blows up. Shit! Bad because, 1) He blew up and I dig him and 2) Buddy gets a break and doesn't lose a lap. Tremendous video of Roger's car going off like old faithful.

Nice shout out for DRR's Racing for Kids program on the video.

TK needs to get a new fueler. Guy don't got his schwerve on.

Dario drives it into the wall. Nice. Just drive up into the gray there, Dario. No big deal.

Danny "Mr. Shoes" Weldon wants to lead. He's a leader. Apparently his name came up in the ping-pong-ball lotto in the AGR pit marked "Who Leads Now?" Announcers report that Danny was concerned that maybe he put Dario into the wall. Dario will probably yell at him later for not taking the grass to give him room.

I admit I dozed off here due to the 54-minute yellow clean up. I THINK they clipped the tape and showed Ed hitting the wall. Vision into the Wall. Wall Vision. It's good they cut out some green laps rather than Dr. Punchy's quest for hashbrowns at the start of the show.

Something about Helio getting blacked for blocking. Again, I dozed off a bit, so I'm fuzzy. Color me shocked. Helio? Blocking?. NOOOOOOOO. Brian is apparently CRACKING DOWN.

First Chevy to lead. National holiday declared. Pigs are flying! Scheckter changes strategy and decide it's important to lead LATE in the race, rather on lap 5.

Danica is 9th. Harris speculates that she may be bushed out. She may be fatigued. He's very concerned. But she's doing a GREAT job. Later we find out it was a "fuel strategy." I wonder why her "fuel strategy" made her give up a position to her teammate, Buddy "Minute" Rice. Team orders? Sorry. Got a little black helicopter on ya.

October 2003 is the last time Chevy won.

Scheckter could run out of gas. Much speculation about the gas situation.

Sam in for gas. Kanaan out of gas. (Note to the anal, I know they don't run on "gasoline.")

Scheckter out of gas! Many GM engine people toss themselves off the top of the Twin Ring. An estimated three who care/know about the IRL program back at GM headquarters are inconsolable, until someone mentioned Jeff Gordon.

The thrilling end of the race is determined by who has gas (ok, methanol. Happy?). And, Helio hits the wall, so we finish yellow. Dan Weldon. Slop city. Shades of Richmond last year. Rice is third. Danica fourth. She drove a good race. Give her props. I expect her to pop off about Sarah afterwards.

Shocker 1 -- An AGR car wins! Shocker 2 -- Weldon does donuts after he wins!