Fans Express Relief that Andretti Green Finally Gets Some Much-Needed Cash

Note to the gullible. AGR and Danica did get $21 million from Motorola, but the rest is fiction.

Indy Racing League fans around the country reacted with sighs of relief Wednesday at news that Andretti Green Racing would get $21 million over the next three years.

"Thank God," said one fan. "I was worried that Andretti Green might have to start eating at thee-star restaurants rather than the four-star places. Whew. That was close."

In a story first reported by Robin Miller on Speedtv.com, AGR and their driver, Danica Patrick (5-1, 100 pounds) will get $7 million a year for three years from Motorola starting in 2007. The news comes just in time for AGR which was said to be down to its last $100 million. Danica is rumored to get $3 meeeeeeyon dollars a year out of the deal.

"Great news for one of the truly deserving teams," said a member of the Dreyer and Reinbold Racing team who declined to be identified. "We were thinking of sharing our Army-surplus Meals Ready to Eat (MREs) with them, but now I guess they can afford their regular table at Che' Fru Fru."

AGR officials said the announcement of more cash for them will undoubtedly put Danica on the podium in 2007, if not into the winner's circle. "And, as a bonus, it's going to be easier to get a 'top 10' when car counts are down to 14 or so," the AGR officials said. "I can't see a downside."

In a related announcement, the once-mighty Hemelgarn Racing announced plans for the crew to sell its blood plasma and launch a recyclable printer cartridge collection campaign to "maybe at least get the hauler half way to Indy next year." Hemelgarn won the 1996 Indy 500 and the 2000 IRL points championship but is currently "belly up."