Andretti Indy Run Appeals to "Older White Guy's With More Money than Sense"

Um, yep, much of this is made up.
Michael Andretti's desire to return to the Indy 500 is part of a marketing strategy designed to appeal to "middle-aged white guys with bails of cash," according to league insiders.

Others insisted that a thinning field of legitimate Indy 500 contenders were "starting to shift the odds in Michael's favor."

The speculation came days after the Indianapolis Star actually reported that Andretti (left) would like to return to the Indianapolis 500 for his 16th try.

After leading on lap 197 of the 2005 running before eventual race winner Sam Hornish Jr. blew by him en route to a dramatic final-lap pass for the win, Andretti once again has the bug.

League officials are eager to find a sponsor for Andretti, who turned 44 in 2006. "We think his running will appeal to all those 40-somethings out there with way more cash than sense," said one insider. "You know, guys who dream up stuff like 'Extreme Golf' play high-stakes fantasy football and will spend $9,844 on fishing boats mainly because they look really cool at Cabela's. The whole Clinging to Youth market is really an untapped gold mine as far as we're concerned."

Others contend with the dwindling IRL car count makes Andretti's chances to end his 0-15 streak at Indy better than ever.

"Couple things," said a league insider. "First, someone has to win. Second, who are we kidding? A solid 12 cars -- assuming we get to a full grid of 33 -- have zero chance to win the 500, even if God himself was driving. They'll be out by lap 50 with 'handling' problems. Plus, of the 20 or so with a remote shot, 10 of those will need a miracle to win. So that means Mike has to beat about eight, maybe nine cars to win it. If he comes back again in 2008 he may be top five by just showing up."

The insider said with four Andretti Green Racing teammates out there blocking for him, and if Sam Hornish and Dan Wheldon hit the wall or blow up, it might be Danica, Michael Andretti and Michael's son, Marco, fighting for the win.

AGR is expected to account for about 20% of the entire Indy Racing League field in 2007 by fielding cars for Marco, Danica, Tony Kanaan and Dario Franchitti. AGR said it still had to find a sponsor for Michael's Indy 500 effort, but they weren't concerned. "We'll put a couple of interns on it and let them call back the eight or so sponsors we didn't get around to calling back last week. Shouldn't be that big of a deal. Danica may have to pose with a few more products, but I'm sure we can figure it out. "

--
Sign up to be notified when this blog is updated (usually once or twice a week). Go to the home page and use the form at the top right. The pressdog mailing list is double secret and won't be sold, leased, loaned or even spoken of in public.