Rusty Wallace Names Dodge "Official Crash Sponsor"

Note to the easily fooled -- Rusty was in a crash and did thank Dodge afterward, but the rest is made up. Read a real story about the crash here.

Former NASCAR champion Rusty Wallace today named Dodge as his "Official Crash Sponsor."

Rusty, who drove to fame in the #2 Dodge Deuce, made the announcement a day after a woman chattering on a cell phone T-boned her Mercedes into Rusty's 2006 Dodge Durango in Cornelius, N.C.

"What the hell was your spotter looking at?" Wallace allegedly said to the distracted driver he got out of his dented Dodge Durango. "I'm on the lead lap here. Use your head a little." Wallace then reminded spectators that he never had this problem at the Rolex 24-hour race he ran with Danica Patrick (5' 1", 100 pounds).

After emerging from the wreck with his wife, Patti (both uninjured) Wallace apparently snapped back into interview-after-crash NASCAR Mode: "You hear car companies talk about safety a lot," Wallace said after the crash, "but I can tell you that Patti and I are both really thankful for the research and development that Dodge puts into the safety of their vehicles."

No one involved in the accident required medical attention. The driver of the Mercedes said she was ironically talking to her husband about the results of the most recent NASCAR race when she lost concentration a smacked Wallace.

"Just like Bristol, huh Rusty?" the woman said. "Really glad nobody was hurt. Looks like I put a pretty big dent in your hot rod, though. As they say at the track, 'just one of them racin' deals.' I'd like to thank Verizon for making such a reliable product. The whole time I was blowing a red light and smacking Rusty my reception was crystal clear. They have a phenominal network. Go to www.verizonwireless.com to learn more."

The 50-year-old Wallace said he and his wife were on their way home after doing color commentary for the IndyCar Series race in Sonoma, CA and taping the "NASCAR Angels" television show over the weekend.

The driver of the Mercedes was surprised to receive a ticket for failure to yield to a celebrity. "Rusty. Come on. Y'all intentionally bang into each other and spin each other out on purpose in NASCAR and get no penalties. But I get a ticket for accidentally hitting you on the street? WTF?"

Wallace called the woman a "crazy cat." The woman finally simmered down after Wallace presented her with a signed DaimlerChrysler coat. "I guess since Dodge and Mercedes are both German companies, we'll let it go. All in the teutonic family," the woman said.