Danica Readies for Recording Career

Note to the humorless. Everything below is made up.

Indy Racing League Driver/Fashion Model Danica Patrick is preparing to launch a music career, according to advisors close to Danica.

The source, who asked not to be identified, said Danica decided to record an album after her less-than-ideal performance of Take Me Out to the Ballgame at a Chicago Cubs baseball game in September and the success of such musically gifted people as Paris Hilton.

"God, if Paris can do it, I sure as hell can," the hyper-competitive Danica reportedly said.

Danica is supposedly in negotiations with the owners of the rights to I'm Too Sexy made popular by the British dance-pop trio Right Said Fred in early 1992. pressdog has obtained a copy of the tweaked lyrics that Danica will record sometime in November.

I'm too sexy for the league
too sexy for the league
League's going to leave me

(Intro bridge)

I’m too sexy for the irl
too sexy for the irl
so sexy they hurl

And I'm too sexy for The Glen
too sexy for The Glen
Newton and Japan

And I'm too sexy for my teammates
Too sexy for my teammates
No way I'm drafting Simmons

I'm a hotty you know what I mean
And I do my little laps on the racetrack
Yeah on the racetrack, on the racetrack yeah
I do my little laps on the racetrack

(Bridge)

I'm too sexy for Rahal
Too sexy for Rahal
Too sexy to call
(The preceeding genius stanza contributed by Jeff at My Name is IRL)

And I'm too sexy for Jamie
Too sexy for Jamie
Think she’s hotter than me?

I'm a hotty you know what I mean
And I do my little laps on the racetrack
Yeah on the racetack on the racetrack yeah
I shake my little tush on the racetrack

(mini bridge )

I'm too sexy for my
too sexy for my
too sexy for my

'Cos I'm a hotty you know what I mean
And I do my little laps on the racetrack
Yeah on the racetrack yeah on the racetrack yeah
I shake my little tush on the racetrack

I'm too sexy for NASCAR
too sexy for NASCAR
Even though I’d, I’d be a star

I’m too sexy for Marco
Too sexy for Marco
He can never beat me

And I'm too sexy for this song

Rumors that the song will replace "I Am Indy" as the league anthem could not be confirmed.

Don't miss the next pressdog blog update. Sign up to be notified when the blog is updated. Go to the home page and use the form at the top right. The pressdog mailing list is double secret, more secret even than the IRL or Champ Car's exact definition of "blocking."